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Tips on how to really listen  

Sharing is caring, but so is listening! Building real connection with other people in your life can take some getting used to—especially when it’s so normal in our society to go through the motions and have surface conversations.  

Studies show that we spend about 70 to 80 percent of our waking hours in some form of communication. Of that time, we spend about nine per cent writing, 16 per cent reading, 30 per cent speaking, and 45 per cent listening. Unfortunately, studies also confirm that most of us are poor and inefficient listeners. 

The good news is, listening is a skill you can build, and science offers some proven tips to help you hone the art of giving someone a sympathetic ear.  

Some “dos” to show you’re really listening: 

Some “don’ts” to avoid: 

By following these “dos” and “don’ts” you are one your way to listening for real. And on your way to real, meaningful connection  


Kate Murphy (2020) “You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters,” 

Michael Nichols, (2009) The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning To Listen Can Improve Relationships